3.4.1 Synthesised finding 1 - Bereavement photography as a helpful tool for the present
Findings from 12 studies, grouped into four categories and five subcategories (
Table 2), yielded the synthesised findings:
‘In the immediate moment of loss, while bereavement photography can generate conflicted feelings with some parents ill-equipped to consider the practice, it can offer validation of loss and assist with explaining outcomes to siblings.’.
Some parents are ill-equipped to consider bereavement photography: In many ways, parents can be underprepared for what will occur following a stillbirth [11, 13; 20–23]. Upon reflection, several parents expressed that they did not feel adequately prepared for after-birth care. One mother explained that ‘It’s like some people (doctors, nurses) are afraid to talk to you…no one told me what to expect delivering a dead baby….no one told me that I should bring a camera’ [20, p.141], while another parent expressed ‘I wish the nurses could have guided us more in our final hours with our son. I didn’t think to bathe or dress him or have our pictures taken holding him. I wish someone would have suggested it’ [13, 2007, p.70]. As a result, many parents pursued little to no memory-making practices with their children: ‘Those [polaroid photographs taken by the doctor immediately after birth] were the only two pictures that I had, because I didn’t know that I could take pictures’ [11, p.125].
Several parents expressed that health professionals could have been more proactive in preparing parents for their experiences, including educating them about and recommending memory-making practices [
11The one thing you can never take away.
,
13- Cacciatore J.
- Bushfield S.
Stillbirth: the mother's experience and implications for improving care.
,
20The unique experiences of women and their families after the death of a baby.
,
21- Christou A.
- Alam A.
- Hofiani S.
- Mubasher A.
- Rasooly M.H.
- Rashidi M.K.
- et al.
'I should have seen her face at least once': parent's and healthcare providers' experiences and practices of care after stillbirth in Kabul province, Afghanistan.
]
‘I wish the nurses could have guided us more in our final hours with our son…I wish someone would have suggested it [taking photographs]
’ [20, p.141]. Conversely, many parents who took photographs recognised that they might not have done so without health professionals’ guidance and were highly thankful:
‘It was wonderful as far as the staff. Somebody told us that we would appreciate having pictures. It would never occur to me to take pictures of him. We took lots of pictures and I held him for about 3 days’ [22, p.6].
Many parents are underprepared for the events following a stillbirth, particularly regarding memory-making activities. Some parents explained that they did not have the essential tools for bereavement photography, while others were unaware of this option. All parents who missed this opportunity due to lack of preparation expressed deep regret and loss. Importantly, when health professionals proactively recommended these services, parents were more likely to have photographs taken; later, these parents expressed gratitude and relief that someone had prompted them to do so.
Conflicted feelings: many parents feel that bereavement photography feels ‘wrong’: Bereavement photography can evoke conflicting feelings in parents [
5- Brierley-Jones L.
- Crawley R.
- Lomax S.
- Ayers S.
Stillbirth and stigma: the spoiling and repair of multiple social identities.
,
11The one thing you can never take away.
,
23- Samuelsson M.
- Rådestad I.
- Segesten K.
A waste of life: fathers' experience of losing a child before birth.
]. While some parents did not consider bereavement photography amidst the busyness of their hospital stay, others declined the service, expressing disdain toward the concept:
‘Everything felt so wrong. It was almost taboo: you don’t keep a picture of a dead baby’ photographs’ [23, p. 127] and
‘It didn’t seem right to take photographs’ [5, p.151]. Such feelings led one mother to decline bereavement photography; she later regretted this decision:
‘I was terrified how the baby would look and couldn’t imagine wanting to take, keep photographs. I was so wrong. My baby was beautiful and precious and we do not have any decent pictures and I am devastated’ [5, p.151]. In contrast, some parents who felt uncomfortable with the process had photographs taken despite these feelings and were thankful they did so. The same father who deemed the process ‘wrong’ went on, ‘
But of course, that is the only thing we have left now. It’s good that somebody thinks of taking pictures; you are very thankful afterwards’ [23, p.127].
Sometimes, partners differed in feelings about bereavement photography [
[11]The one thing you can never take away.
]. For example, one father explained how he saw the photographs as ‘painful’ and ‘full of emotion’, whereas his wife found them to be a source of comfort:
‘I am glad we have them, but I haven’t looked at them.they bring up too much emotion for me, and how we are, so I don’t.but I am glad they are there[…] but I know the pictures have made it easier for my wife, which makes it easier for me’ [11, p.126]. Bereavement photography can induce a range of emotions, and for some parents, very painful ones. Yet, parents tend to express gratitude for the photographs and what they provide for themselves and/or their grieving partners.
Validation of loss and alleviation of guilt, blame and shame: Bereavement photography appears to be a powerful tool for validating loss and counteracting feelings of invalidation, guilt and shame that many women experience after stillbirth [
11The one thing you can never take away.
,
12- Smith L.K.
- Dickens J.
- Bender Atik R.
- Bevan C.
- Fisher J.
- Hinton L.
Parents' experiences of care following the loss of a baby at the margins between miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death: a UK qualitative study.
,
22- Kelley M.C.
- Trinidad S.B.
Silent loss and the clinical encounter: parents’ and physicians’ experiences of stillbirth–a qualitative analysis.
,
24Affirming motherhood: validation and invalidation in women’s perinatal hospice narratives.
]. For example, one mother articulated that the photographs helped to validate the reality of her loss and challenge her self-doubt:
‘I’m so glad I have those pictures because otherwise I’d think that really didn’t happen to me.That was just a bad dream, you know. But the pictures are … proof that the baby did exist’ [24, p.260].
Such validation is important as stillbirth can evoke guilt and shame in women if they blame themselves for their child’s loss [
22- Kelley M.C.
- Trinidad S.B.
Silent loss and the clinical encounter: parents’ and physicians’ experiences of stillbirth–a qualitative analysis.
,
24Affirming motherhood: validation and invalidation in women’s perinatal hospice narratives.
]. One physician, in acknowledging women’s self-blame, described the role of health professionals in the following way:
‘They usually blame themselves; they think it’s their fault. It’s our role to make sure this is not happening and reassuring them that there is nothing they did. It’s very important to reassure them that they did not do anything’ [22, p.11]. In addition to the important role of health professionals in addressing feelings of self-blame, bereavement photographs offer another means to assist with such feelings. Notably, one mother commented that the photographs lessened fears about their child and feelings of worry or self-blame:
‘I think that the photographs have taken a lot of the worry out of my mind—that he was abnormal or that he was hideous looking or something. The pictures help to know that there wasn’t anything that I did wrong to cause this’ [11, p.126]. Overall, then, bereavement photography was seen to play an important role in validating loss and assisting with feelings associated with stillbirth; photographs were not only mementoes but physical objects that directly validated parents’ loss and counteracted feelings of guilt, blame and shame.
3.4.2 Synthesised finding 2 - Bereavement photography as a helpful tool for the future
Findings from 12 studies, grouped into four categories and five subcategories (
Table 2), comprised the synthesised finding:
‘Parents’ views about bereavement photography may fluctuate over time, but photographs provide parents with proof their child existed, enable them to share their child with others and maintain memories over time.’.
Bereavement photographs provide ongoing proof of the child’s existence: Several parents expressed that bereavement photographs provided ongoing proof of their child’s existence and helped to honour their baby [
11The one thing you can never take away.
,
12- Smith L.K.
- Dickens J.
- Bender Atik R.
- Bevan C.
- Fisher J.
- Hinton L.
Parents' experiences of care following the loss of a baby at the margins between miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death: a UK qualitative study.
,
20The unique experiences of women and their families after the death of a baby.
,
24Affirming motherhood: validation and invalidation in women’s perinatal hospice narratives.
]. One father described how the photographs of his son were valuable confirmation and reminders to himself but also a signal to others that his child had existed: ‘
The pictures and everything, the obituaries that were in the paper.sort of like legitimize his life. My son really existed and they keep him in my mind’ [11, p.126]. Parents who felt that other people dismissed their child’s life highly valued these tangible keepsakes:
‘Taking pictures was so helpful for me. Having some proof that she existed […] We refuse to forget or minimize her existence (as suggested by some family)’ [20, p.141]. Ultimately, parents seem to value bereavement photographs as tangible proof of their child’s existence; this provides comfort for many parents, especially if they feel that others minimise their child’s life.
Sharing the photographs with others: Bereavement photographs provided parents with a means of sharing their baby’s life with family and friends [
11The one thing you can never take away.
,
12- Smith L.K.
- Dickens J.
- Bender Atik R.
- Bevan C.
- Fisher J.
- Hinton L.
Parents' experiences of care following the loss of a baby at the margins between miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death: a UK qualitative study.
,
22- Kelley M.C.
- Trinidad S.B.
Silent loss and the clinical encounter: parents’ and physicians’ experiences of stillbirth–a qualitative analysis.
,
24Affirming motherhood: validation and invalidation in women’s perinatal hospice narratives.
,
25‘She was a person, she was here: the experience of late pregnancy loss in Australia.
]. Parents were personally comforted by the images in many cases but feared others’ responses to the images:
‘Some people think the pictures are morbid, but [they are] not to me. I am the one that had her, it happened to me! People can say the weirdest things. I think that is why I don’t share the pictures with a lot of people, because maybe I am afraid of what they are going to say’ [11, p.125]. Some mothers were particular about whom they shared the photographs with, particularly when they predicted negative responses: ‘
Because she was so deformed, we did not ask any family or friends if they wanted to see her and have not shown her photo to anyone except our son who is 2′ [25, p.72]. Importantly, parents described how other people who have experienced stillbirth tend to respond more positively and sensitively to the images:
‘I’ve got all these pictures. To somebody in the outside world, that’s gruesome.But you can come here [perinatal hospice agency] and the.moms bring their photo albums, and we can show each other our babies. And we can fulfill the need that we have to talk about our kids. That they’re real people’ [24, p.262].
Bereavement photographs also assist in the process of introducing and facilitating meaningful connections between a stillborn baby and their siblings [
[11]The one thing you can never take away.
]. One father described how photographs helped his family:
‘I think it made it easier explaining to the kids, because there was an actual picture of the baby. That it made it easier for them.once they saw the pictures, they realized that this was their brother’ [11, p.126–127]
. His wife also stated,
‘I think it was good for them to see.and that his picture looked just like their baby picture.They just couldn’t understand how we got the pictures after he was in heaven’ [11, p.127]. Other parents did not share the photographs with the baby’s siblings immediately but planned to in the future:
‘Actually, when the kids get older, I am going to tell them about Jillian and show them the pictures. I want them to know that she did exist and that she was a part of them’ [11, p.126].
Many parents appreciated the role of bereavement photographs in sharing their child with others, although their experiences of sharing the photographs varied. Some parents were reluctant to share the pictures for fear of negative responses; however, they still valued sharing the photographs with certain people, particularly with their other children.
Parents' views about having photographs taken may fluctuate over time: Importantly, parents revealed that attitudes toward bereavement photography often change over time [
5- Brierley-Jones L.
- Crawley R.
- Lomax S.
- Ayers S.
Stillbirth and stigma: the spoiling and repair of multiple social identities.
,
11The one thing you can never take away.
,
12- Smith L.K.
- Dickens J.
- Bender Atik R.
- Bevan C.
- Fisher J.
- Hinton L.
Parents' experiences of care following the loss of a baby at the margins between miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death: a UK qualitative study.
,
23- Samuelsson M.
- Rådestad I.
- Segesten K.
A waste of life: fathers' experience of losing a child before birth.
,
25‘She was a person, she was here: the experience of late pregnancy loss in Australia.
]. Parents who had photographs taken but did not want to view them at the time of their loss expressed gratitude for the photographs retrospectively. One father appreciated their midwife encouraging photographs and highlighting their future importance:
‘Do you want me to take pictures? You will, you will appreciate these pictures. Not now, not tomorrow, but in the future…and they’re right.’ [12, p.871]. Conversely, parents who chose not to have the photographs tended to express regret about their decision:
‘I was terrified how the baby would look and couldn’t imagine wanting to take, keep photographs. I was so wrong. My baby was beautiful and precious, and we do not have any decent pictures and I am devastated’ [5, p.151]. For parents who were hesitant about or not ready to see photographs, some health professionals stored the photographs with hospital records or gave them to parents in a sealed envelope or as part of a memory box:
‘The hospital did up a box for us, with photos, foot and handprints, his little dress and a toy. I’m not really sure what else, I haven’t looked in the box, just not ready yet’ [25, p. 69].
Several parents demonstrated changing views on bereavement photography. Some parents were reluctant to receive the photographs but accepted them despite this; on reflection, these parents were often very thankful for these memories. In contrast, parents who declined the service often regretted this decision and wished they had photographs of their child. Attempts by hospitals to facilitate sealed memory-making packages for hesitant parents appeared to be highly valuable.
Bereavement photographs maintain memories that might otherwise fade over time: Tangible memory-making items such as photographs assisted parents in maintaining memories of their children [11; 13; 20–22, 24, 26]. Parents recognised that their memories could fade over time and appeared to find comfort in knowing that the photographs would preserve them: ‘It’s something tangible to look at so that I don’t have to keep going back in my mind and worrying about the memories fading.It’s here, and I can get it anytime, and always’ [11, p.126]. Another mother shared how the photographs ‘[make] it real, and not a distant memory’ commenting that ‘you don’t want to forget them. They’re still your baby’ [24, p. 260]. As well as helping to preserve existing memories, tangible mementoes such as photographs help parents to keep their child’s place of belonging within their home and foster a continued relationship between the stillborn baby and family: ‘I put the memory box on my dresser. I put a wreath right there and a little teddy bear. I printed out a bunch of her pictures and I have them in a special frame’ [26, p.139].
Parents who experience stillbirth have minimal contact, and therefore memories, with their child; as a result, many parents express concern about forgetting this time. Bereavement photography can be an effective and comforting tool for maintaining these early memories. Furthermore, parents may experience an ongoing connection with their children by displaying these memories in their homes.